ANIMAL JOKES

A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"

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An unemployed guy got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla's skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people would keep coming to the zoo.

On his first day on the job, the guy put on the skin and went into the cage. The people all cheered to see him. He started really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he lost his balance and crashed through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lay there stunned, the lion roared. He was terrified and started screaming, "Help, Help!"

The lion raced over to him, placed his paws on his chest and hissed, "Shut up or we'll both lose our jobs!"

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The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience."

Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. "Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he typed. "Please send us two of them."

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Father and son standing outside the elephant's cage in the Moscow Zoo. Father tells son, "If we stand around here long enough, one of them will throw some food at us."

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A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.

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Two older men are standing in front of the Hotel Duluth when they see a penguin walking by. Pat grabs it and asks Mike, "what should I do with him?"
Mike says, "Why don't you take him out to the zoo?"
The next day in front of the Hotel, Mike sees Pat walking with the penguin on a leash. "I thought I told you to take him to the zoo," says Mike.
"I did," says Pat, "and we had such a good time that tonight I think I'll take him to the hockey game!"