CULTURE

JOKES

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We don't know. They're still arguing about it.

*****

So there's this man with a parrot. And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

 *****

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."
These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem. final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia to a party with some friends.
So they did this and had a great time. However, they ended up staying longer than they planned, and they didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found Professor Aldric after the final and explained to him why they missed it. They told him that they went up to Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tyre on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time. So they were late getting back to campus.
Aldric thought this over and agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Aldric had told them.
He placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page.
They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page.
It said: (95 points) "Which tyre?"

             Moral: Teachers ALWAYS know more about life than you do!

ST PATRICK'S DAY IS COMING!

Who was St. Patrick and why does he have a special day?

Saint Patrick's Day, also known as St. Paddy's Day or Paddy's Day, is an annual feast day which celebrates St. Patrick, one of the patron saints of Ireland, and is generally celebrated on March 17th. The day is the national holiday of Ireland. In other parts of the world, where there are many Irish immigrants, such as parts of Canada, the UK, Australia, the United States and New Zealand, it is also widely celebrated but is not an official holiday. St. Patrick was a Christian missionary, who was really born in Roman Britain, during the second half of the fifth century. When he was about sixteen, he was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for around six years before escaping and returning to his family. He entered the church and later returned to Ireland as a missionary, working in the north and west of the island. By the eighth century he had become Ireland's patron saint.

What celebrations are held during this day?

Celebrations around the world are generally themed around all things Irish and, by association, with the colour green. Both Christians and non-Christians celebrate by wearing green or orange, eating Irish food and drinking whisky or beer, which is also coloured green for the occasion. In the USA, people in Chicago colour the river green as it runs through the city.

There are parades in different cities and towns, and the biggest parade is the one that takes place in New York, watched by at least two million spectators.

 

 

ROSE IS ROSE

 

 

JOKES IN ENGLISH

A: I'm in a big trouble!
B: Why is that?
A: I saw a mouse in my house!
B: Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap.
A: I don't have one.
B: Well then, buy one.
A: Can't afford one.
B: I can give you mine if you want.
A: That sounds good.
B: All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap.
A: I don't have any cheese.
B: Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap.
A: I don't have oil.
B: Well, then put only a small piece of bread.
A: I don't have bread.
B: Then what is the mouse doing at your house?!

 

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

 

Two cows are standing in a field.
One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.

 

One Sunday morning, the priest noticed that little Anthony was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
The plaque was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The ten year old boy had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Anthony."
"Good morning father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
"Father Murphy, what is this?" Anthony asked.
"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."
Soberly they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Anthony's voice was barely audible when he asked,
"Which service, the 9:00 or the 10:30?"

 

THE DRUG BUST

The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?"
"Yes. What can we do for you?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood."
"Thank you, this will be noted."
Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood for you?"
"Yeah, they did."
"Okay, now it's YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

TIPS ON STUDYING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE

Learning another language is not easy, but most people can learn a second language IF they are willing to put in the necessary time. Here are some practical suggestions for studying effectively, overcoming anxiety, and learning the grammar and skills necessary for success in foreign language classes.

1. STUDY EVERY DAY! A foreign language course is different from any other course you take. Language learning is cumulative: you cannot put it off until the weekend. Study 1 or 2 hours for every class hour if you want good marks. 
2. DISTRIBUTE YOUR STUDY TIME in 15- to 30-minute periods throughout the day. Focus on a different task each time: vocabulary now, grammar next, etc. Get an overview during the first half hour: spend 10 minutes reviewing dialog, 10 minutes learning new vocabulary, 10 minutes learning new grammar...so you'll at least have looked at it all. Approximately 80% of your study time should be spent in recitation or practice, including practice in the language lab.
3. ATTEND AND PARTICIPATE IN EVERY CLASS--even if you are not well prepared. Class time is your best opportunity to practice. Learn the grammar and vocabulary outside of class in order to make the most of class time. Spend a few minutes "warming up" before each class by speaking or reading the language.
4. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE IN THE CLASSROOM. Get to know your classmates, so you will feel you are among friends.
5. LEARN GRAMMAR IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW IT. Grammar is the skeleton of a language, its basic structure: you must learn it. Review a simplified English grammar text. Compare new grammatical structures in your foreign language to their English equivalents.
6. PRACTICE FOR TESTS by doing what you will have to do on the test. If the test will require you to write, then study by writing--including spelling and accents. If you will be asked to listen, then practice listening. Ask for practice questions; make up your own test questions. Invent variations on patterns and forms. Over-learn: study beyond the point of recognition to mastery.

          Don’t be satisfied with less.

1. DEVELOP A GOOD ATTITUDE. Have a clear personal reason for taking the class. Set personal goals for what you want to learn. Leave perfectionism at the door; give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.
2. GET HELP IF YOU NEED IT. Talk with your teacher. Form study groups among class members. Use tutoring services. Don't wait!

READING and WRITING a foreign language are analytical skills. You may be good at these if you are a logical person who attends to detail. Train yourself through practice to notice and remember details such as accents and gender agreement.

 READING SKILLS TIPS:

1. First, read the vocabulary list for the assignment. Next, read the questions about the reading. Then read all the way through a new passage two or three times, guessing at meaning from context. Avoid word-by-word translation. It is a waste of time!
2. Isolate new vocabulary and study it separately. DON'T write between the lines! Make flash cards. Carry them with you and recite them several times during the day at odd moments. Overlearn them until they are automatic.
3. Isolate new grammatical forms and study them separately. Write the pattern on a flash card and memorize it. Write out and label a model sentence. When you encounter the form while reading, pause and recite the pattern to recognize the form.

WRITING SKILLS TIPS:

1. Pay attention to detail: notice accents, order of letters, etc. Compare letter-by-letter different forms (singular, plural, gender, etc.). Write out conjugations of verbs, declensions of pro-nouns, etc., and check your endings. Memorize irregular verbs.
2. To master spelling, have a friend dictate 10 words to you. Write them out and immediately have your friend spell them correctly aloud while you look carefully and point at each letter. Repeat until you get all the words right.
3. Write (in your own simple foreign vocabulary words) a story you have just read.

LISTENING and SPEAKING are performance skills. You may do well at these if you are naturally outgoing. Students in foreign language classes often have difficulty hearing and speaking because they are anxious about making mistakes. It's OK to make mistakes! Have fun trying to speak!

 LISTENING SKILLS TIPS:

1. Frequent the language lab. Read the exercises in your book first; then listen and read together; then listen without looking at the print. Say aloud/write what you hear.
2. Participate silently in class when others are called on to speak. Focus on the task; don't worry about how you'll do.
3. If you feel nervous, relax yourself physically by taking a couple of slow, deep breaths. When called on, pause, relax, and give yourself time to respond.
4. Listen while a friend dictates to you and write what you hear. Check for accuracy.
5. Practice: watch foreign TV, listen to foreign radio.

SPEAKING SKILLS TIPS:

1. Study out loud! Mimic the sounds of the language. Don't mumble. Although most people feel embarrassed making strange sounds, the language will soon feel more familiar to you.
2. When called on in class, say something, even it it's wrong: you'll learn from it. If you need a moment to think, repeat the question. If you don't know the answer, say in your foreign language, "I don't know" or "help!"
3. Practice with a foreign student who wants your help to learn English or with another class member.

And  remember:  your teacher is there to help you learn! Take advantage of this fact.

FUN AND GAMES WITH PEANUTS

 

Click on this link and you'll find four games to play.

http://www.snoopy.com/comics/peanuts/fun_and_games/game_gallery.html

                  

  This new school year, 2008, will be, I'm sure, a year of pure positivism, with plenty of good resolutions and lots of achievements which will make you feel proud of yourselves in the future. All your teachers are looking forward to seeing you all again! Especially me.

MENDOZA

 

I am spending a few days in Mendoza, having a relaxing time. The weather has been really lovely, there has been rain every day, which is most unusual for this time of year. This means that it has been wonderful to walk all over the city without melting. I hope everyone is having a good holiday too. See you soon!

TECHNICAL PROBLEMS

Due to technical problems accessing my blog at home, I have not been able to keep up with my blog work.  I hope to have things solved as soon as possible. Meanwhile, enjoy your holidays and I look forward to seeing everyone in March!

 

TOEIC RESULTS

To all of you who did the TOEIC (Corfo) exam, the results are on the Corfo website. (http://www.corfo.cl/) Use your ID and your password. If you have forgotten your password, click on the link offered, and they will send it to your mail. I hope you all did well. Write me and let me know!

Love,

Miss Christine

                  

                          

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas, a Happy New Year, and looking forward to seeing you again in March!

 

SQUIDGY CHOCOLATE SQUARES IN SPANISH!

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Cuadrados de Chocolate (Miss Christine’s Brownies)

 

Base:

 

125 gr. mantequilla o margarina/250 gr.

 

40 gr. cocoa amarga en polvo, cernida (1/3 taza m/m)

 

2 huevos medianos, batidos

 

1 taza azucar blanca

 

1 cucharadita de esencia de vainilla

 

1 taza harina sin polvos, cernida

 

1/2  taza nueces picadas(optativo) Pueden ser almendras.

 

1 cucharadita cucharadita de polvos de hornear

 

pizca de sal

  

Cubierta:

 

90 gr. chocolate en barra para cocinar(Ambrosoli Pastry Choc)

 

2 cucharadas cucharada crema fresca (en pote)

 

un molde cuadrado o rectangular,20X30X5 app.,  aceitado y con papel mantequilla en el fondo.

  

Prender horno a gas mediano.  Derretir la margarina en una cacerola mediana a gas suave(que no sea muy pequeña porque todo se va a mezlar en la misma cacerola) .  Una vez derretido, quitar del fuego. Agregar de a uno los ingredientes en el orden en que aparecen, batiendo bien entre uno y otro: azúcar, huevos batidos, vainilla,sal, chocolate, harina, nueces. Poner en el molde, emparejar la superficie y poner al horno 30 minutos. Esto es muy importante. Solo treinta minutos.  Apagar el horno. Dejar puerta del horno entreabierta unos 5 minutos, luego sacar fuente y dejar enfriar afuera.

Para la cubierta, poner la crema con el chocolate en una fuente metalica sobre cacerolita con agua caliente(no fuego directo) , derretir a fuego suave y verter sobre los brownies ya fríos. Emparejar, y dejar solidificar. Cuando esté frio, cortar con un cuchillo que se ha puesto en un vaso de agua caliente(para que el chocolate de la cubierta no se quiebre). Cortar en cuadrados.  

Nota:  Yo siempre hago la receta triplicada , porque si se hace simple salen muy bajos los cuadrados.

    

PREPARE WELL AND GOOD LUCK!

  

Remember that good luck comes to people who also work hard! So do your best and the rest should come easily!

THE DINOSAUR SONG

THE IGUANA SONG

 

ENJOY THESE MEMORIES FROM CHILDHOOD

A TRADITIONAL CHILDREN'S SONG... TWINKLE TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

Do you remember having heard this when you were a child? I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

 

 

 

LISTEN AND TAKE NOTE.THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Thanks to Isabella,who gave me the tip of this site! He puts into speech what I wrote about a few days ago. English is vital for your future! Take note, listen and internalise: YOU are responsible for what you learn, not your teacher, or your family. ONLY YOU can make the difference!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=os3pCCpdlWE

 

 

CONGRATULATIONS UNICORNS

The Woman with the Unicorn   painted by Raphael (1505)

Congratulations on your victory!

LOVE,

Miss Christine

CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYBODY

         

Congratulations to both teams, Lions and Unicorns, for all the work, effort and enthusiasm put into the activities of our School Week. I hope it has been  a satisfaction to all of you, and I hope that next week I can have you all, body and soul in my classes.  I love you all, red or yellow!