REAL-LIFE EXCUSES FOR BEING ABSENT

Read the following excuses which were sent to a school by parents of children in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

1. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

2. Dear School: Please accuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, and also 34.

3. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

4. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.

5. I had to keep Willie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she were.

6. John has been absent from school because he had two teeth taken off his face.

7. Execute Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.

9.Excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

10.Please execute Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.

As you can see, it is important to be able to write well, or misunderstandings may arise!

 

 

 

 

 

TIPS FOR A GOOD ESSAY

Clear and concise. Very helpful if you want to do well in writing.

 

HOW TO TURN A T-SHIRT INTO A TANK TOP

Just watch and listen.....

 

HAND-PAINTED EASTER EGGS

 

HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE!

LANGUAGE GAMES

 

Click on the links and they will take you to a game to test your knowledge.

Verb, noun, or both?

http://www.english-online.org.uk/games/verbnounboth.htm

Decide what the underlined verb is.

http://www.harcourtschool.com/activity/verb_power/index_pre.html

Time is running out! Answer before it happens.

http://www.manythings.org/qs/verbs.html

Acting Verbs - great fun!

http://pbskids.org/lions/games/wordplay2.html

What kind of word is it? Help the jellyfish to kill them off!

http://arcademic.altec.org/games/invasion/invasion.html

Word Frog -  practice with synonyms, antonyms and homonyms.

http://arcademic.altec.org/games/frog/frog.html

Verb Viper -  the snake needs to eat the correct form of the verb.

http://arcademic.altec.org/games/viper/viper.html

Verb to Be fun game.

http://www.funbrain.com/verb/index.html

 

EASTER IS HERE

Happy Easter to everyone!

With love from

ME

 

 

 

 

REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR EASTER ISLAND MOAIS

If you haven't done so yet, please take a few minutes to vote. Follow the link http://new7wonders.com  and vote online. You will be sent a mail with the link to where you can vote.It's free, and you will be doing your country a service, promoting tourism to Easter Island. You won't be alive for the next opportunity to vote, which will be in 2,000 years in the future. So it's now or never!

 

ALL I NEED TO KNOW I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY

I'm sure that this advice will be useful for many people. These are rules which can be applied anywhere and anytime in your life.

 

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING PUNCTUAL

 

Last Sunday 18th of March, there was a very interesting article in the Sunday supplement of the 'El Mercurio' of Valparaiso, about the cost of being unpunctual in Chile. According to this article, the economic cost of being late for 7 minutes every day in one whole year amounts to US $104,677,397. This sounds incredible. But it is based on a survey carried out in the year 2006 by  the Libertad Institute in Santiago. The cost includes what the employer loses, the employee's cost, domestic service, armed forces, police force and that involved by labourers and workers. It ends up being a chain of events: if you're late, you'll make someone else late, and so on.

Why are Chileans like this? According to the people interviewed, there are several reasons. These include an educational problem, a lack of culture,  being unconscious of the needs of those who surround us, belonging to an underdeveloped country and lack of discipline. Being unpunctual may mean you're not really interested in something, because if you have to get someone to pay you money, you'll probably be quite punctual. This problem affects all areas of society. Most people agreed that the solution lies in educating the younger generations. To be punctual is a virtue which should be cultivated and enforced everywhere. Time is precious! Let's not waste it, and make the most of the time we have. What can YOU do to improve the situation?

1. Try to plan ahead so you'll always have a few minutes to spare for emergencies.

2. Encourage others, like parents, relatives and friends to do the same.

3. Don't accept unpunctuality passively. Fight it! Rebel against it!

4. Set an example to the rest.

 Do we know how much more  time we will have in our  future?

 

VOTE !

Take a few minutes to vote for Easter Island and its moais as one of the seven wonders of the modern world! According to the latest surveys, our option is NOT among the first seven any more.

http://new7wonders.com

 

 

See blog entry for February 26th for more details...

 

HOW THE FIRST WELL WAS CREATED

JOKES IN ENGLISH

An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.

The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Eric?" Jim asked. "Well didn't you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Eric. "Ah, praise God!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

How do you count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

A man asked for a meal in a restaurant. The waiter brought the food and put it on the table. After a moment, the man called the waiter and said:

"Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!"

"Please don't speak so loudly, sir," said the waiter, "or everyone will want one." 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly." 

 

FUNNY SIGNS

Here is a collection of funny or curious road signs. Read them and have a good laugh!

Rather confusing, don't you think?

If this is true, how do you get to Houghton?

It's good to know this.

 

I hope this doesn't happen too often. There are even bullet holes in the road sign.

Do you think anyone will be caught speeding today?

Write 'funny road signs' in your Google or Yahoo searchbar, and see what YOU can come up with!

 

 

 

 

ARE YOU READING ENOUGH IN ENGLISH?

 

Remember the importance of reading! Reading gives you knowledge, culture, vocabulary,and improves your writing skills. Just read. The rest will come on its own.

 

ST PATRICK'S DAY

                      

St. Patrick's Day is celebrated March 17th. St. Patrick of Ireland, along with St. Nicholas and St. Valentine, is one of the world's most popular saints.  He is celebrated on this day by Irish followers all round the world. He was born around the year 385 A.C. in  Scotland, of Roman parents. Around the age of 14, he was captured during a raid and taken to Ireland as a slave to take care of and herd sheep. Ireland was a pagan land at this time, in the hands of the Druids so Patrick learned the customs and language of these people. During this time as a slave, he turned to God in prayer. His captivity lasted until he was twenty years old, when he was able to escape after dreaming that God told him he had to leave and go to the coast. There he found some sailors who helped him return to Britain, where he was able to join his family. After a time he had another dream, in which the people of Ireland called to him to return there and tell them about God. So he decided to study to be a priest, and was ordained by a bishop. When he himself became a bishop, he was sent to Ireland, where he soon gathered a group of followers. He taught, preached and built churches there for thirty years. Patrick used a shamrock, which is a small plant with three leaves, to explain the Holy Trinity. This shamrock became the national symbol. He was also supposed to have performed the miracle of making all snakes leave Ireland. That is why he is often shown with snakes around him, although experts believe it is a metaphor which represents the conversion of the pagans. After years of living in poor conditions and suffering, he died on March 17th. Irish people all around the world commemorate this day with different activities, such as wearing green clothes and accessories, and drinking beer.

 

 

 

 

MORE ENGLISH LEARNING WITH SARAH

 

LEARNING ENGLISH - SOME GOOD TIPS

TONGUE TWISTER - PETER PIPER

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?

 

        

 

 

 

METAPHOR

 

Morning is

a new sheet of paper

for you to write on.

Whatever you want to say,

all day,

until night

folds it up

and files it away.

The bright words and the dark words

are gone

until dawn

and a new day

to write on.                                Eve Merriam

 

 

 

                                             

 

 

 

E-MAILS CAN CAUSE PANIC

 

Email

 

A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy cold winter. They both had jobs, and had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address and sent the e-mail without noticing his error.

 

In the mean time:

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been "called home to glory" following a heart attack (died and gone to report in heaven). The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from family and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving Wife
From: Your Departed Husband
Subject: I've arrived!

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

 P.S. Sure is hot down here.